Social group makes it easy to mix, mingle

Courier News, May 9, 2005
By CHAD WEIHRAUCH

There are those types who will go out to a bar solo, and then there are the people who would rather stick their hands in a juicer.

For those who fall staunchly in between -- iffy on going it alone, not exactly shy enough to prefer the hand-juicing -- there's New Jersey Young Professionals.

The social and networking organization of as many as 2,500 younger Central Jerseyans was started a little more than a year ago by North Plainfield resident Laura Occhipinti.

Occhipinti had recently moved to the borough from Bergen County, didn't really know anyone in North Plainfield and wasn't sure where to begin finding friends. At her new workplace, there were only four other people in her department.

"It was just the five of us, and that was it. There was no other interaction," she said. "I had no idea how to go about meeting other people. It seemed impossible."

She looked online and found several New York-based social groups, but those were based in another state. She also came across quite a few dating and singles groups, but she had a more neutral setting in mind, a way to meet friends and find like-minded people without the pressure.

One year and a Yahoo! Internet newsgroup later, New Jersey Young Professionals has an e-mail membership list in the thousands. Dozens of people regularly meet at 20 or more events each month across Central Jersey. The get-togethers include happy hours, game nights, meet-and-greet events, scavenger hunts and weekend hikes.

"It gives you a sense of community, that when you're moving here -- and all the technology and everything -- our lives are becoming more impersonal," said Nicole Willson, a 24-year-old member who lives in the Belle Mead section of Montgomery. "It's important to have a community and have friends and feel like you're part of a network."

The socializing runs roughly along the lines of the group's Cinco de Mayo gathering Thursday night at The Office in Bridgewater. Several dozen people got together in a side room of the restaurant, moving among a few different tables in conversational knots, laughing and talking.

"It's not just a social group. There's plenty of networking. And it's not just a singles group. There's plenty of couples," said Philip Paul, 24, of Summit.

Paul sat over a not-quite-fishbowl-sized mixed drink in a booth with about five other group members, friends who laughed and teased each other as though they were old acquaintances.

However, Paul said he'd only been a member for about a month.

"That's it? I've seen him like 10 times," Occhipinti laughed.

The group operates through a Web site, www.njyp.org, which links to its Yahoo! newsgroup site. Anyone is welcome to join, as long as they consider themselves a "young professional," though Occhipinti said that can include anyone in any type of vocation.

Generally, the group at The Office for Cinco de Mayo tended to be 24 to 35 years old, college-educated, single and racially diverse. Members were from all over Central Jersey, from Hazlet to Morristown to Edison and beyond.

The overall tone was more friendly than flirtatious, but there were flashes of that, too. Occhipinti said several couples have begun dating after meeting at the group's events, but the organization isn't particularly considered a dating service.

Shira Feldman said she joined the online group months before she went to her first event in January. She would watch the online invitations as they popped up, but hesitated to jump right in.

"I didn't know what to expect. It's kind of intimidating to walk into a roomful of people you don't know," she said.

Feldman, 28, of Morris Plains, said meeting people is easy in college, but afterward, out in the real world, many people retreat into their own small social shells. Many people move to Central Jersey for work, for example, and might not know anyone in the area.

Also, people who live in the Garden State, especially the northern and central reaches within New York's umbra, tend to have the same general social aspirations of those living in the city. They just don't have the city itself as an easily navigable backdrop.

In practical terms? They have to be more target-selective. If you're single and looking for something to do in New York, you walk down the block. If you live in New Jersey, you probably aren't inclined to walk down Route 22, hoping to run into a party.

"We're in the suburbs, we're a little isolated," Feldman said. "It's like culture shock when you get out of college."

So the group more or less sets the stage for its members, providing a slate of events with a guaranteed attendance of friendly faces.

On the group's message board recently, there were discussions about flirting, getting an apartment, inquiries about catching a movie in Montgomery and advice about buying new cars.

"It's cool, because if you need an apartment or you're looking for a job, you have people to ask about those things. You have a group of peers, and that's good as well," Willson said.

At the Cinco de Mayo event, 36-year-old Pedro Ortiz of Bridgewater said the group has become something like a web of friends who try to help each other. When a member's house burned down recently in North Jersey, many people rushed to help.

" 'I have an extra couch, I have an extra microwave,' whatever the case may be," he said of the responses.

Marta Perales, who moved to Morristown from Mexico last year, said members also consult each other if they're looking for advice.

"I asked once about a carpenter, I got like 20 responses. I asked once about a tax adviser, Pedro helped me," she said.

Ortiz teased Perales, saying she's the "vice president in charge of the Latino part of the organization."

At some point, Occhipinti, who works assisting social workers at Coordinated Family Care in Edison, hopes to parlay her role managing the group's activities into a full-time job. She might charge a small subscription fee for a membership or work something out with advertisers, she said.

Whatever the case, there is a definite business angle to the whole thing. Restaurants and other businesses probably can see the advantage of having 50 to 80 people all agree to meet at their location.

"There's places that work with us. They love us," Occhipinti said, adding some restaurants have offered free appetizers as an enticement. "I'm trying to form more relationships like that."