Bowling
for Company
The New
York Times, February 12, 2006
BY PAUL
SPAN
THESE
events are always begin a bit awkwardly, with people
standing around the lounge, nursing their Yuenglings
and Corona Lights, eyeing one another without saying much. But soon enough
someone shakes hands with someone else, and the conversational hum begins to
build. Then the host, Kellie Berg, arrives to collect the cash and pass out the
name tags and make introductions. And then it's time to bowl.
The
people who organize New Jersey Young Professionals are usually happy when 30 to
40 people show up for an event, but more than 50 have turned out tonight.
Maybe, I figure, because it's a Saturday in grim January, when cabin fever runs
high. Or because bowling at Rockaway Lanes seems so innocuous, downright
wholesome.
Or perhaps because it's so hard to meet other single people in their
20's or 30's.
The group doesn't use that dread word much ("cheesy," sniffs its
founder, Laura Occhipinti) or restrict itself to the unmarried. But most of its
members - 5,000 in just two years, and more every week - are single, in what
seems a universe of couples with children and car pools and backyard swing
sets.
It's
easy, out here in
It's
simpler in the city, Ms Occhipinti insists;
just
look at the listings in Time Out
What's
happening in
Lacing up
their rented shoes, people tick off the problems. They've relocated from
Romance
in the workplace: Frowned on and hazardous. Blind dates arranged by coworkers:
Nerve-racking. Besides, colleagues and their friends tend to be married. Bars: No.
Everyone hates bars.
If you're
not at work or at home, you're usually in a car, probably passing a few
thousand other single people headed the opposite way on Interstate 80, unable
to encounter any of them. "Bumping into someone in a car is a bad
thing," Taryn points out.
Bowling
with a bunch of other folks, on the other hand, seems to be a pretty nice
thing, friendly and non-threatening. (This group hosts a variety of gatherings
- hikes, barbecues, game nights, wine tastings.)
John,
who's in marketing at Verizon Wireless, immediately
rolls a strike. (That he arrived toting his own shoes and ball was probably a
tip-off.) He consoles Rowena, a programmer who's getting a counseling degree at
I almost
torpedo the mood by bringing up that miserable excuse for a holiday,
Valentine's Day. FTD, Hallmark, Godiva and their kind
have conspired to make it the third largest retail holiday. Any florist within
walking distance of a New Jersey Transit stop - any florist, period - is going
to have a profitable day on Tuesday. But what's less romantic than coerced
romance?
The
single - er - the Young Professionals agree. But
although I grouse about the way drugstores hauled out the pink satin hearts the
minute they stashed the wreaths and tinsel, I haven't been single since
1972.People who are tend to get bummed at this annual
reminder. It's a Noah's
"I
get a little down if I'm not dating someone," Stephanie says.
"There's that weird pressure." She'll probably just work late on
Tuesday. Rowena thinks she'll ignore the whole thing. Ask Taryn
if she's observing Valentine's Day and she says with a groan, "I'll be
observing other people together." Never mind. Change the subject. New
Jersey Young Professionals has lots of events coming up, a happy hour in
Meanwhile,
congratulations to Michael, who drove all the way from